First and Last
by ii Digestive Reader ii
Summary: First time. Last time. First time on Naboo, when life hadn't ruined them. Last time on Coruscant, when life was falling apart around them.


First and Last

* * *

Padmé stared at him, her breath harsh, the grass against her legs, the Shaak herd mooing and staring at them in bored fascination, his work stomach beneath her legs. This…oh, fuck it.

Leaning forward, she captured his lips fiercely, hands pressing against his chest.

Anakin barely moved, not quite registering what was happening - he could figure out what was happening but…

He stared at her when she pulled back and realized he wasn't responding.

"I'm sorry, I thought -"

"You shouldn't - why are you apologizing -" Anakin grimaced when he realized he was stumbling over his words, rubbing his hands over his face and feeling the stalks of grass brush against his skin. A wild thought made him wonder what her skin felt like against -

Nope. Nope, that was not -

"Ani." Padmé looked sheepish, her hair falling out of its elaborate updo. The Naboo sun was hitting her skin, making her flushed skin more apparent, the sheen of sweat -

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have - " She made to move from his legs, stopping abruptly when reached out and grasped her waist.

"No - no, that's not - I'm a virgin."

_Way to kill the mood Skywalker, _he thought, trying not grimace.

Padmé sat back on his legs, crossing her arms over her chest. She scrutinized him for a moment, face impassive and eyes narrowed in the sun's glare.

"Jedi aren't celibate."

He shrugged, remembering where his hand was and moving it away. If he had known this would be the last time he would touch her with both hands, maybe he wouldn't have been so hesitant. "Never bothered."

_Always thinking of someone like you._

_That's creepy, don't say that._

_Force, she probably can tell what I'm think -_

Padmé cocked her head, then gave a small smile and leaned closer. Her curly hair brushed against his neck. "Should I say something seductive?"

Anakin didn't stop her kiss this time - that he had experience with _that_ \- allowing her to control the pace. He couldn't help but roll his hips a little, feeling her breath hitch.

"You can touch you know."

"Anything you say is seductive."

A smile curved at her lips.

He let out a harsh breath while her teeth scraped against his jaw, underneath his ear, his neck - he'd surely have several marks in a few hours.

The thought was thrilling. He hesitantly put his hands on her knees, unsure on how much pressure he should have been applying. Without much fanfare Padmé pulled her lips away and covered his hands, guiding them under her dress that was bunching anyways.

The yellow silk moved easily up her thighs, and she shivered at the contact. Every man she had been with had been so...focused on himself, not so tender, priding themselves that they were fucking a former queen.

She read none of that in Anakin's eyes - they were focused on her, touching the skin that was gradually exposed to her and studying her reactions. Did he roll his hips every once in awhile? Yep. Did he touch her where she showed him?

_Force yes._

He let his hands wander to her chest, palming her breasts experimentally - that she hadn't asked him to do, but judging by the way her breath hitched and she buried her head in his shoulder he had done okay. Encouraged, he kept touching, shifting only when she moved her hands where she wanted him too.

Fingers winding in his hair, Padmé tugged gently on the padawan braid. She brought his attention to her lips and again kissed him fiercely.

Anakin fumbled at her back, then grinned when he found the clasps of the corset and began to undo them. He could use the Force but -

She understood his intentions when the pressure at her back - not in her stomach - began to loosen. Straightening, she pushed his hands to her waist, unable to keep from rolling her hips just a little.

It wasn't romantic, she thought when they had eventually dispersed the necessary clothing - her corset had been unhooked and dropped beside the dress somewhere nearby, and his tunic was open, trousers opened just enough for her to settle comfortably.

Anakin dug his nails into her skin a bit too tightly at the contact, gulping down air and thrusting into on instinct alone. She felt her eyes widen possessively at that and leaned forward, sucking hard at a spot on his neck.

_Hers hers hers, _a little voice whispered, and she didn't have the coherent thought to tell it to shut up.

* * *

For a planet that was a city - few parks, too much traffic, too much people, too much, too much, too much -

Really, it was amazing that anyone slept. Always something to do - something to do, someone to visit, somewhere to work.

Insomnia was a common complaint on Coruscant.

The drugs that the common folk took to induce sleep were strong

The Jedi's drugs were stronger.

But the body builds tolerance to medications - or spice, or alcohol, adrenaline stems - and made it impossible to sleep.

PTSD played a large part in being unable to sleep for many of them.

Maybe that's why nothing ever touched Anakin. He still had nightmares - terrible, horrible, no good, absolutely fucking awful nightmares that ravaged his sleep and whispered at his mind during waking hours.

So real, so much screaming, so much pain -

With a jolt he woke, heart pounding and blood racing and sweat on his skin marred by whips, blasterfire, lightsabers - you name it, and it was etched into his skin, right down to the bone.

"Ani? Ani!"

He jumped, realizing there was a hand on his shoulder, squeezing tightly. A hand largely unmarked by the hardships of life.

Falling back on the pillows, Anakin forced air into his lungs ever so slowly. "'m fine," he mumbled. "Just a dream."

"You seem to be having more of those." Padmé nestled down beside him, fingers pulling through his sweat-soaked hair. "Do you want to - "

"No - no." He reached out his hand, gathering hers and bringing their joined fingers to his chrst. "Don't worry."

Thank goodness it was dark - he didn't want to witness the disbelieving look on Padmé's face. There had been enough of those these few weeks.

"Talking might help."

"Mmm," Anakin made to rise, "I'm have some reports to read from Rex and Ahsoka - should probably - "

"Anakin." Padmé grasped his wrist, forcing - guiding - him back to the bed.A sigh left her while he settled back down again a moment later. Even if he just laid there until she fell asleep again -

She patted his chest, turning back on her side -

He followed, smoothing a calloused hand down her arm, then touching her breast through her nightshirt.

PadPa closed her eyes, giving a sigh while he palmed her breasts gently, almost experimentally, like it was the first time they had sex. He thumbed a nipple, quiet while she gave a hum of satisfaction and leaned back into his chest.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, moving down to her swollen stomach. Metal arm moving underneath her and wrapping protectively around her chest, he held her close. "My angel."

She cracked her eyes opened, vaguely wondering about the notes of poseviness in his voice - not uncommon in the throes of lovemaking...but something -

A sharp gasp left her when his fingers moved lower, into her without much probing. It felt...not quite right, having him so forward in bed. Especially now, when he was so afraid of hurting her.

He had stilled his fingers, waiting for her to untense, kissing what he could reach. "Sorry."

Without a word she responded, shifting her hips and giving a too-loud groan. _The staff certainly heard that one…_

"PadPa…"

"I want to help you, Ani - just forget everything." She moved her hips against, moving his fingers on her own accord. "Focus on me."

Anakin cleared his throat, much like the hesitant virgin he once was. He remembered - the picnic, on Tatooine, everywhere then they could find more than a few moments alone. Without much fanfare he began to move again, palming her skin and kissing what he could reach, pushing her nightshirt - just his tunic, nothing else, excellent.

"I'm not made of glass - mmm." Padmé couldn't say his fingers were uncomfortable - cetainly rough, certainly blunt - but so much _better _than any of her former lover's had been. The thought of anyone besides her husband in her bed - well, she knew how much Anakin hated that thought.

Rolling his hips against her, Anakin kept his fingers moving, feeling her muscles twitch and clench, listening to her moan. She never minded the mechanical arm doing it - but it felt _wrong _to him. Any chance to touch her should be organic.

Carefully, Padmé wriggled a hand out of his tight grip and reached behind her, feeling his hard muscles lightly before reaching for the drawstring of his trousers and tugging at it. A sigh escaped him when her fingers traced his hardness, and he buried his face in her curls.

"You tryin' to make me come?" he croaked quietly.

"Kind of the point Ani."

A hoarse chuckle left him. Easing her fingers out of her, Anakin divested the best he could of the trousers, shaking his head when she began to move to her back. He grinned at her bewildered expression, and squeezed the arm around her chest. "Here," he whispered, hand closing around her thigh and shifting himself against her. "Here."

PadmP felt herself tense when he entered her - strange. Nearly ominous. She could always lose herself in the feel of him, feeling his desire and desperate need to please her -

Tonight...she was acutely aware of his possessive growl, how his fingers dug into her thigh, the awkward position making their current situation all the more obvious. He hadn't been like that upon coming back - no, not since discovering her pregnancy, not since -

Not since Clovis.

She tilted her head back, listening to him grunt her name and move jerkily. The sounds of Coruscant were drowned by his harsh pants, their skin slapping together, the bed creaking ever so slightly.

At least when he did come, she didn't have to worry about taking a contraceptive.

* * *

_Author's note: I've had this idea in my head for weeks and I couldn't get it out at all. So - here we are ;)_

_I absolutely headcanon that Anakin was a virgin when he and PPadm met - take it or leave it._

_And enjoy the fic :) it's not exactly explicit or entirely smutty, but eh, I don't roll that way. I do like the difference between their first and last time having sex. Makes you realize how much things changed between them._

_ii Digestive Reader ii_


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